A few days ago, while chatting with my mom about work and income, I suddenly realized: the differences in people's choices ultimately stem from differences in their ideas. This made me wonder: if I could go back to my early twenties, which ideas do I wish I had understood sooner?
A ten-year career is like a long hike. As I pack my bags, I find that some principles are like a compass—simple, yet always pointing toward the distance.
1. Who Are You? Where Are You Going?
If I asked you, "What kind of person do you want to become?" would your first reaction be, like mine was, "Isn't this a topic from school essays?"
It's a strange dichotomy: in school, teachers constantly urged us to "have dreams" and "learn from great people." But once we step out of campus, without that external guidance, many people stop thinking about the future. We live like trains without a destination, knowing only to move forward but not where we're headed.
But in reality, questions like "What kind of person do I want to become?" and "What kind of life do I want to live?" are not exclusive to our student years. Even at thirty or fifty, these questions require our continuous reflection:
- What habits do I want to cultivate in the future? What character traits do I want to hone? How can I excel in my roles as a partner, parent, and professional?
- What does my ideal life look like? What skills and resources do I need to acquire to get there?
Life is like sailing: without a destination, any wind is against you. Even a small goal can give you direction when you feel lost.
This question might sound grand, but it can be broken down into practical steps to help you clarify things gradually:
- Start with a "Simplified 5-Year Plan": It doesn't need to be complicated. Just imagine your ideal state five years from now. Is it becoming an expert in a field, or having time for family and hobbies?
- Work Backwards to Annual Goals: To reach that 5-year vision, what are the 3 most important things to achieve this year? Don't be greedy; focus is key to persistence.
- Broaden Your Horizons: Read books, watch documentaries, follow people from different industries. Learn about diverse lifestyles and add the ones you like to your "life options repository."
- Continuously Adjust: Plans aren't set in stone. As you gain experience, feel free to revise them. Right after graduation, I wanted to be a "tech guru." After three years, I considered management. Now, I'm pivoting to freelancing. It's normal for ideas to change at different stages; what's important is to always have a "forward-looking" mindset.
- Repeat the steps above to form a cycle.
As a programmer, I used this method to plan my career: from junior to intermediate, to senior, then to technical management, working backwards from the goal to determine what to learn and do each year. Over the past decade, while many detailed plans weren't fully completed, the overall direction never strayed, leading to a smooth career path and a "rising" salary.
But just like hitting a bottleneck in a game, after ten years of employment, I suddenly found the path ahead narrowing—a predictable career trajectory with limited possibilities. So I paused to readjust, seriously moving the long-contemplated ideas of "freelancing" and "digital nomad" onto my "life desktop" to begin a new chapter.
I firmly believe this path is no different from being a programmer: starting in the "beginner village," gradually leveling up to "intermediate," and then reaching the "advanced" stage where you understand the patterns. That's why I'm willing to give up immediate stable income to bet on a freer, more imaginative future.
By now, you probably see the underlying logic of this approach: There are no shortcuts in life; all rewards are hidden in "day-after-day persistence." Like a carpenter planing wood, each stroke seems tedious but gradually shapes the material. Don't fantasize about getting rich overnight, and don't disdain slow progress. The pawn in chess seems clumsy, moving one step at a time, yet it always reaches the end at critical moments.
True courage is changing what you can, accepting what you can't, and having the wisdom to know the difference.
2. Continuous Learning, Regular Review, Persistent Exploration
Even the best plan is just a piece of paper; the most beautiful goal is just a fantasy without execution. The core of execution is "continuous learning + regular review."
I almost always spend a few minutes before bed reviewing the day: What did I do? What could be improved? Did I make progress on the skills I wanted to enhance? If not, was it a method problem or a mindset issue? After identifying the problem, I think about "Are there other ways?" and "How should I adjust next time?"
Here's a tip: Review is not a "self-criticism session." If you constantly focus on your shortcomings, you'll fall into self-denial over time. Instead, give yourself more encouragement. Even small wins like "I learned one more thing today than yesterday" or "This review is more structured than the last" are worth acknowledging. Protecting your willingness to try is more important than anything else.
Furthermore, learning shouldn't have "boundaries." Beyond professional skills for your job, learning seemingly "useless" things can add color to your life. It's like collecting "Easter eggs" for life—inconspicuous now, but potentially surprising one day.
Because I liked the ukulele, I signed up for a class and even tried substitute teaching and promotions at the store—finally realizing I only enjoy playing, not teaching or business, but this experience clarified "what I want." Later, I became obsessed with sim racing, followed many racing creators, and last year was lucky enough to connect with a real racing team. Seeing them compete and prepare up close gave me a new understanding of "team atmosphere."
These attempts didn't bring me monetary income, but they made my life richer. I'm no longer "just a programmer who writes code" but an ordinary person with passions and stories to tell. And these "useless" experiences might one day create wonderful chemistry with work or opportunities.
The unexamined life is not worth living.
This quote always reminds me: Don't just rush forward; occasionally stop and look back to walk more steadily and go further.
3. Showcasing Yourself: Not Bragging, But Connecting
When I chose to become a programmer, half of it was genuine interest in code, and the other half was the private wish to "avoid dealing with people"—looking back, this thinking was a classic example of职场 "self-limiting," equivalent to actively welding shut half the door to opportunity.
There's a realistic situation in the workplace: when two people have similar performance and skills, the one who is better at expressing themselves and communicating with colleagues often wins during annual reviews. This isn't "sucking up" but normal social logic: colleagues who know their work better are more likely to recognize their contributions.
If you, like I was, tend to "keep your head down and work," try to change:
- When colleagues encounter problems, lend a hand. When you have good ideas, speak up and share them with the team.
- Don't shy away from company awards or project opportunities—participate actively. This isn't about being competitive but letting your efforts be seen.
- Don't just stick to your own role; communicate with people from other departments, join cross-functional projects. This broadens your perspective and builds your network.
These actions are essentially about "managing your professional reputation." Professional skills are hard power, determining your career floor, while reputation and connections are soft power, helping you break through the ceiling and gain unexpected opportunities.
When I first moved into technical management, it was because I usually communicated with my team members, as well as product and testing departments, understanding their needs and pain points. Later, during a company restructuring, I was appointed department manager. Every sincere communication in the workplace can become a "stepping stone" for the future.
4. Cultivate Your Inner Strength
We often talk about "physical and mental health," but many only focus on the body, neglecting the "maintenance" of the mind. Mental health is as crucial as physical health; it helps you avoid breakdowns during setbacks, prevents internal burnout during anxiety, and maintains emotional stability.
Two books have helped me the most over the years: "The Courage to Be Disliked" and "The 10-Minute Meditation".
"The Courage to Be Disliked" cured my "pleaser personality": It taught me that you don't need to satisfy everyone, and it's impossible anyway. Whether others like you is their business, not yours. You just need to be yourself, accept your imperfections, and you will naturally attract like-minded people.
I used to fear "offending people," hesitant to voice differing opinions in meetings, and agreeing to help colleagues even when swamped. After reading this book, I gradually learned to "say no" and "stand by my ideas," leading to a lighter life and more respect.
"The 10-Minute Meditation" taught me to "make peace with emotions": It says emotions are like weather—sunny or stormy—but the sun is always behind the clouds. When angry, don't force yourself "not to be angry"; when sad, don't insist "not to cry." Accept the emotion's presence, then gently guide your behavior.—It's okay to be angry, but don't yell; it's okay to be sad, but don't wallow.
Now, when troubled, I meditate for ten minutes, bringing my focus back to the present, telling myself, "Do what's in front of you first, leave the rest to time." This "emotional self-control" has reduced my anxiety and increased my confidence during the volatile period of freelancing.
5. There's More Than One Way to Earn Money
We're taught from a young age: "Study hard → Get into a good university → Find a good job → Earn a stable salary." Consequently, many adults see "working for a salary" as the only way to make a living.
It took me ten years of work to truly understand the meaning of "a salary is poison" from "Rich Dad Poor Dad." A salary is stable and reliable, arriving on time each month, possibly increasing yearly, but it also slowly erodes your motivation to explore other income streams, like a frog in warm water.
When you hit a career bottleneck or your industry declines, many panic, thinking first of "changing jobs" or "lowering salary expectations," without considering: Is a job really the only way?
As Naval Ravikant says in "The Almanack of Naval Ravikant": "Judgment is the key to wealth, far exceeding how hard you work." Making money has always been more about "choice over effort." Some jobs have inherent ceilings; no matter how hard you work, it's difficult to break the income cap. Other earning methods might seem difficult initially, but once established, can make money work for you.
The healthiest approach is "main job for stability, side hustles for exploration." Use your spare time to try low-cost, interesting things that could generate income: if you like writing, start a blog; if you're good at photography, take on portrait gigs; if you're knowledgeable in an area, share that knowledge.
It's like learning the piano—it doesn't happen overnight but requires continuous practice and trial and error. My current freelancing, running an independent site while sharing my experiences, is an exploration of "diversified income." Even if there's no income now, I know these attempts are paving the way for the future—someday, these efforts will become "assets" that generate passive income.
"Rich Dad Poor Dad": "The poor work for money. The rich have money work for them." This isn't encouraging everyone to quit their jobs and start businesses but reminding us: Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Developing an additional income stream provides extra security against risk.
Summary: Perception Determines Difference
Looking back on this decade, every detour and progress I've made is essentially the result of "cognitive upgrading."
From "only knowing to keep my head down and work" to "actively planning my life," from "believing a job is the only path" to "exploring multiple income streams," from "caring about others' opinions" to "accepting my imperfections"—these changes transformed me from a confused new graduate into a freelancer with goals, confidence, and passion.
Figures like Jack Ma and Lei Jun achieved their success not because they have an extra nose or eyes but because their cognitive level far exceeds the average person's. They saw opportunities others missed and thought of methods others didn't, allowing them to stand out in the tide of the times.
We ordinary people might not become Ma or Lei, but we can at least improve our perception through learning and exploration, living more clearly and freely. When effort seems futile, don't rush to doubt yourself; maybe your perception hasn't caught up. When you hit a bottleneck, don't just push harder; look at how others live, learn new ways of thinking, and you might find a new breakthrough.
Human plasticity is limitless. As Hemingway said, "The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places."
May we all, in the process of continuously upgrading our perception, become the person we like, possessing both the courage to face reality and the confidence to pursue our dreams.
